I wish I could say that I’m the girl who had her dream wedding planned out by the age of 10. I’m not. It’s not that I never wanted to get married but it’s not something that I put a whole lot of thought into.
As a hopeless romantic I will say that there were times when I certainly visualised what it would look like. I imagined the decor, the flowers and the dress – my groom would naturally be Johnny Depp. The truth is that nothing is the way that I envisioned it and I’m absolutely happy that it isn’t. Johnny and I were just not meant to be. That being said, I have a wonderful future husband who treats me like gold and I’m over the moon excited to be with him always.
I suppose I should clarify that this is not a guide or an advice post, it’s a journal entry. It’s how I feel about the whole “getting married” thing.
How I feel:
The idea of getting married is quite overwhelming but incredibly exciting at the same time. I was barely engaged for less than a day and I was already looking up venues! So yes, the wedding bug had bitten me. It’s such a thrill knowing that one special day, all your loved ones come together to celebrate the love that we feel everyday. I feel nervous about the typical things – will the guests like the food? Have I forgotten anyone? IS THE VENUE BIG ENOUGH FOR MY HUGE PORTUGUESE FAMILY?? That one I’m still not clear on just yet.
The thought of getting to love and annoy and tease and hug and cherish Rueben for the rest of our days is really wonderful. Especially knowing that I’ll forever be smiling, laughing and exploring the world thanks to him. Not to get too mushy, but I love him very much.
I don’t feel like over sharing here, I feel like this is just for me but we have ticked off a couple of tasks on our list. I have my 6 (yes, 6) bridesmaids picked, hopefully happy and ready to stand with me on the big day. These are girls who have stood by me through tough times, happy times and brilliant times I know are still to come. No one ever really talks about how tough it is to choose your bridesmaids. I have a baby sister so it’s not exactly like she was top on the list but I have many wonderful friends and female cousins that it felt nearly impossible to choose. At the end of the day, I know that the girls I have chosen are perfect and the ones that I didn’t will still be happy to celebrate with me.
Bridal Expo – done! My mom and I recently attended the Bridal Expo here in Cape Town and while I wasn’t too keen initially, I’m so happy we did. It sort of feels like a modern rite of passage, like the old school “Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.” Which is something I still need to tackle. Getting to experience that with my mom was such a special moment for me. She is such a “mother of the bride”! Telling every person she could that I was getting married. It was a memory I didn’t realise I wanted until it happened. I also now own a decent stack of bridal magazines! Yaas!
Getting to view the venue with my parents was also very special. My dad lives back home and so we share most of our updates on the phone but this had to be done. I’m happy to report that the venue is loved by all. It’s the venue of my dreams and I can’t wait to decorate and have the big day!
I guess now I just enjoy and embrace the journey ahead. I still have quite a few tasks that I need to tackle but I’m very happy to do so. If you read my previous Journal post you’ll know I have trouble with bad anxiety. I refuse to let it get in the way of me loving every part of the process and I hope that there are fellow brides or new wives out there who can share their experiences with me. Really though, if you’ve recently gotten married or you’ve been married for ages and you have the secret to happiness, please leave me a comment.
I hope that you enjoy random posts like this. It’s great for me to just share what I’m going through and be real.
Be sure to please let me know what you think.
Thanks, VB xx